Be still, my soul

I write to you from the cross-roads of Cary Parade, Fleet St and Strand. A busy cross-roads junction down at Torquay harbour. I have spent today driving through the seven counties of Northamptonshire, Buckinghamshire, Oxfordshire, Berkshire, Hampshire, Wiltshire, and Somerset before reaching Devon. It was a journey that took just over 4 and a half hours, using my chosen route that consisted of A43, M40, A34, A420, A419, A346, A338 and about a 100 miles on the A303 to get to Exeter to join the M5 for two junctions before picking up the A380 all the way to Torquay. I spent a short time before setting off sitting at my dining table with my AA Map of Great Britain, marking on a piece of scrap paper the roads I need, and the page numbers should I need to study the map mid-journey. I only ONE error and that was missing the instruction of the A419 towards Marlborough. I chose this route because I recognise my faults and my struggles and therefore play to my strengths! I could’ve gone M4 and M5, or from home up towards Coventry to get the M5 directly. But I recognise that staying on the same road for too long “bores me!” I would count myself as a confident driver of motor vehicles, and although this is a good thing, it is also a bad thing. I spent too much time on this journey doing 30mph, and for me it was frustrating, and coupled with seeing on the signposts how far I’ve got left, never filled me with joy!! I can drive fast, but obviously mustn’t!!

Whilst on the M5 we hit the worst weather of the day. You can’t see more than a car length ahead! And I am relieved by my choice of route!

I arrive and check-in to my hotel, I find my room, from which you can see the Sea. I unpack and then have a quick nap to recharge.

I decide to write to you know as I arrive at my holiday destination as “what I want to say” can already be said!

I want to get away!

I am looking forward to a few days down in Torquay, I get to meet up with the absolutely fabulous Isabelle, and later in the week I will be somewhere else, as I slowly head back home!

I decided that updating you as often as possible was causing more thinking and more honesty than should be available for anyone and everyone to read, But I am still giving my all at Orlingbury we have just done our 3rd Choral Evensong and working relationships are building! I am loving being involved at school. It’s not only a joy to be there, but I can only be positive, confident and professional. This brings out the best in me because whatever is going on outside of the 4 walls (except the Fire Alarms) I cannot, and will not let my guard down, and this is excellent skill development!!! I love it. And I work with the best team of people!!

They will break up for their holidays when I return and that will give me more time to think, contemplate and dissect.

Maybe this holiday will give me the strength to battle what’s wrong on and fight more for what I really want?

I’ve driven quite a lot of miles to find a bit of peace.

I need it!

I know “What’s wrong”

But can’t get past it!

I know “What it is I want…”

But “am I good enough for it?”

I know I can’t hide for ever

But hiding is best for everyone!

PS:

I have always been good at Geography

As long as it’s maps, roads and routes!!

I couldn’t tell you about the scientific formation of Rocks,

But I’m quite capable of negotiating at least 5 routes to Torquay.

My Satnav only came on for the last 5 miles,

I’m an old-school girly!

I can read a map!

Can you?

Is the map a ‘Dying art’??

I wanna keep it going?

Oh and Another key question for holiday makers…

Do you take your spare car key with you?

If not…. Why not???

I ask you this…. What if your key breaks!!!

These moments remind me that I’m older now, but perhaps have some key life skills from my older generations above me. I also recognise that whilst I’m an old fart, I am also a slow, logical, cynical thinker!!!

Who else answered that last question with “Oh yeah, that’s a GOOD POINT!”

I’ll always think,

I’ll always try

But sometimes,

I don’t know what is next

Be still my soul thy best, thy heavenly friend

Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.